The Driving Force
by Squirthasblueglasses
Summary: The journeys of the Signless narrated by a different perspective.
1. A New Hive

_It was a dumb decision, but I wasn't old enough to notice yet._

He wasn't any bigger or stronger than the rest of the lot, which didn't guarantee him the best lusus. And he smelled funny too, almost like meteor. That was obviously impossible. He probably just came out of his little cocoon just like every other troll. It wasn't as if he was the only funny smelling wriggler either. The caretaker of the mother grub remembered at least a few others like that. It was easy to tell which wrigglers probably weren't going to make it, because the custodians that wandered to pick up their grubs and build the hives strayed away from the different ones.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a larger troll grab one of the grubs and run. The mother grub screeched and wailed. Of course, he wasn't old or smart enough to process what this meant. He was too busy being lifted from the ground by a large creature.

It didn't matter if the wriggler smelled like shitty space rocks, the creature made a beeline for the little guy. Maybe it was because the two of them shared the same eyes and found solace in each other. Anyway, the custodian had to wait for the little guy to figure out how to communicate to the carpenter drones what he wanted his hive to look like. It was practically encoded in a trolls' genes, that they learn how to do these things quickly. And after a while, he did, but there were too many flaws in the structure. The little guy was a pretty terrible architect.

They built it anyway.

It was just perfect, a shitty hive for a shitty-blooded troll with shitty eyes and a shitty lusus. _Just the shittiest little slice of paradise ever. _The little wriggler didn't decide to put his hive where most trolls his caste did. Usually, mustard-bloods would put all their hives close together, but he put his hive in the middle of scenic nowhere. There wasn't any reason why he did, it was just an available spot that looked nice. Would this decision bite him in the ass later? Possibly.

The sun was coming up, so the custodian took the tiny wriggler inside. Due to the fact that he was a lowblood, they didn't get much space in the hive. Even though it was just built, the floors creaked and the doors didn't work. The windows were squeaky, the ceiling looked like it was going to give at any moment. The paint wasn't peeling, but not all the walls were fully covered. If this was how a regular mustard-blood's hive was, then what the hell were the maroon and brown bloods' hives like?

Suddenly, the little tyke's lusus started storming all around the hive, acting ridiculous and insane. He was too young to understand or do anything about it, so he hid under a table until the raging lunatic fell asleep. That took roughly an hour. He crawled out from under the table and saw something at the door. Still a wriggler, he couldn't really open the package or do anything with it, so he went back under the table and slept.

A few nights later, he got out of his wriggler state. It took a while to get used to less limbs and a less confining body state. But something told him he should go check out the package. That something was his lusus. He might not have been able to speak in full words, but he could at least offer some nudging in the form of intense screeching.

Anyway, he slowly opened the box and found an oversized shirt in it. Instantly he lifted it over his head and noticed the sign on it. It was two vertical bars that looked like columns, complete with two bars on the top and bottom. Well, that was probably his identity. This was important, somehow he knew that, but he still didn't understand how or why it was. He was more worried about the fact that his lusus left his fucking window open for days. Lousy goddamned lusus. The other unsettling thing was that a colony of bees had entered into a corner of his hive. Now the hive was even shittier than it previously was!

But he noticed that his lusus was eating the honey of the bees. Oh yeah, food. Maybe bees in his hive weren't such a bad thing. And if his lusus was eating the stuff, why shouldn't he?

The little troll walked toward the honeycombs, shot a look at his lusus, and licked the side of the combs.


	2. A Visitor

_I should have hidden when I could._

It was two sweeps after the troll took out a portion of his roof after eating the honey. That was his first lesson of life, do not eat the honey. Only his lusus could. Now, whenever it rained, nothing in the hive was safe from getting soaked.

Only after two sweeps did his first shirt start getting tight on him. He was a slow-grower, but was unaware of that. He didn't have any neighbors. There was nobody to tell him what was true and what was false, and his lusus didn't even schoolfeed him. But it must be hard for his lusus to do just about anything when it has two heads that aren't even as smart as the average moss covered rock.

The bees in his hive never stung him, and even after some rough experimentation he found that he could put the bees to sleep. Like his lusus, his eyes were red and blue. The drones never came around to cull him, so he assumed that it wasn't that much of a terrible thing. Instead of griping about it, he tried to figure out how to use it to his advantage. Some practice later and he found he didn't even need a strife specibus, he could just use his own powers.

The kid spent most of his time trying to fix his hive. He crushed up some plant pigments he found in his lawn ring and used it to fill in the walls that weren't painted. After a while he found a way to fix the squeaky doors and creaky windows. The floorboards were untreatable, so he took off the curtains and fashioned rugs into them. After two sweeps of work, it looked slightly presentable. Of course, it was obvious a very young troll had done it. But now he was bored. He needed friends, he thought. Except there was nobody around.

_Great job building your hive in the middle of nowhere_.

He spent so many days on his doorstep, just watching everything pass. The moons were waxing and waning every night, and he took note of that sometimes. His lusus never taught him a goddamned thing; he had to learn everything on his own. Once at dusk, he fell asleep at his door and woke up a few hours later finding burns on his skin because he stayed outside for too long.

But one night, as it turned to dusk and he hurried inside, he saw a figure outside. It was another younger troll running and ducking in a bush. Was he lost? Wherever his hive was, it wasn't close. Under normal circumstances, the kid would leave this wanderer out in the light and let him burn. However, he didn't know the normal protocol and this was the first troll he'd come in contact with. He needed somebody to talk to, at least. His eyes locked with the other troll's, and he gestured the kid inside.

He had on this little cloak and smiled as he walked through his door. There wasn't a sign on him, which was just a little confusing, but he didn't pay any mind to it. After all, how was he supposed to know if signs like his were normal? The two of them didn't utter a word to each other at first, but the kid in the cloak finally broke the silence.

"Uh, thank you for letting me in."

"It's fine." He spoke with a little bit of a lisp.

"What's your name?"

He paused for a moment. Did his lusus give him one? Was he supposed to come up with something? What the hell was going on here?

Seeing the kid's hesitation, he spoke again, "I like to be called the Signless."

"Actually, you're sort of the first troll I've run into, I don't have anything I'm called."

"Well, why don't you think of something?"

A much longer pause. Nothing came out. The troll's eyes drifted to the floor.

"…I mean, you don't really need a name right now if you can't think of anything!"

He laughed. "I guess not. It's not important, right?"

"Not really."

"Why were you outside right before dusk, anyway?"

The Signless frowned and ran to the window, looking outside. "I was just looking for someone, that's it! It's not that big of a deal, I think."

Even if this sounded suspicious, he nodded and switched subjects. "My recoopracoon isn't that big, but I think you can fit in too, we're both kind of small."

"I actually don't know what that is."

"You're kidding, right? They put one in every hive."

There was another large bubble of silence. "I'll just sleep on the floor, it'll be fine."

He sat under a table as if he was hiding from something and laid down.

"You're sure you're going to be fine there?"

"Yeah, I do it all the time." The Signless tried to sit up and bumped his head, making the table shake. He ignored this and added, "Thank you again for letting me in."

"It's not a problem."

The small troll climbed into his recoopracoon, and the Signless took his shoes off. Before either one of them could get to sleep, the ground shook. The troll's lusus was having a fit, probably because of the unannounced guest. He was storming around the hive in another one of his fits, and it seemed to freak out the guest.

"He does that a lot, it's not a problem."

The Signless still looked worried. "Does he hurt you?"

"No, I'm the one that feeds this asshole. He needs me to help him."

"But why do you keep him around? Does he help you?"

"He hasn't taught me anything, but he helped me when I was really little."

"...And it's safe here, right?"

"Completely."

He seemed a little more relaxed and laid his head down again. "Alright, I'll believe you. And I'm just staying for shelter, I'll get out of your way tomorrow."

"Okay."

The two of them fell asleep rather quickly, because the sun was shining brightly through the window.


	3. A Missing Lusus

_ Back then was fun, I wish it never stopped._

Dusk came fairly quickly, and the little troll woke up to his guest the Signless poking his lusus. Surprisingly, the big bloke didn't mind the other troll touching him. That was weird, his lusus never liked it when he touched him, but this complete stranger could? Fucking double standard.

"He's letting you touch him?"

"Yeah, he actually seems kind of nice! You really live with him all the time?"

He nodded. "Do you have a lusus?"

There was an awkward pause. "Not like yours, that's for sure!" Before the little guy could say anything else, the Signless spoke again. "You have a nice hive!"

"No, I don't. This is a wreck."

"Better than mine! You designed it, right?"

"Yeah, when I was a wriggler. That's why it's not exactly stable."

The Signless wasn't really listening at this point, he just walked around feeling the walls. He felt the creaky boards and for a moment, there might have been the slightest hint of jealousy in his eyes. He came to the hole in the roof and asked why it was there.

"I did something I wasn't supposed to when I was little."

"What?"

"Ate that honey. For some reason, it's really dangerous to me but not my lusus."

"So you're psychic?"

That was a weird word. "I don't know, am I?"

"Can you like…make people go to sleep and move things around with your think pan?"

"I can pick up things and make bees go to sleep. That's about it."

"So you're a Ψiioniic!"

"A what?"

"It's just a word for a strong psychic. At least, that's what I heard when I was schoolfed."

"Oh…" He kicked his feet together, disappointed he couldn't learn these things from his lusus.

"That's why your eyes are like that? Because you're a Ψiioniic?"

"Yeah, I don't know why. Is it normal?"

"I've never seen anything like that before. I haven't seen a lot, though. I'm barely out of the cave."

"You live in a cave?"

"Yeah. I should probably go find it…"

"Do you need help? I'm not doing anything else important."

His voice faltered. "Well, I don't think my…um, lusus would like knowing I talked to another troll."

"Why?"

"Uh…I have to go." The Signless darted out of the hive, leaving behind his shoes. Now, why would that little asshole have to leave so badly that he didn't have time to put his shoes back on?

He opened the door and saw the Signless running for the hills like there was an army of ghosts behind him. Then, an idea struck him. The troll quietly closed the door and pursued him, hiding behind bushes whenever he checked if he was being followed. The Signless would stop, the troll would stop. The Signless would walk, the troll would walk. The Signless would run, the troll would walk and find him later.

They played this game of stop and go for about a half hour. They passed through some hills and valleys, dodging a stampede of raging hoofbeasts. The sky was very purple that evening. The pink moon was new and the green moon was full, as if there was only one moon in the sky. The Signless came to a small cliff and smiled, relieved he found what he was looking for.

It was a cave, nothing too special. No paint on the walls, no floorboards at all. This was even worse than an unstable death trap of a hive - it wasn't even a hive at all. All that was there was an unlit fire pit in the entrance to the cave and bats hanging from the stalactites. Some blankets were bundled up in the back, as well as some supplies to make clothing. A few books were littered around the place, but there were no other possessions in sight.

He climbed the ledge and ran to the cave. There was no one inside, which obviously distressed the Signless. He sat on the floor and mumbled to himself, just incomprehensible words. The little troll almost felt bad for the guy. No, scratch that. He was devastated that the first troll he encountered lost his lusus. _Should I blow my cover?_

The young troll came out from behind the ledge and walked toward the the fire. The weeping troll was too busy looking down at the floor. He put a hand on the Signless's shoulder. Surprised, the Signless quickly wiped his face on his cloak so his tears weren't visible and kept staring at the floor, as if this was regular business for him.

"Who are you?"

"Um…call me the Ψiioniic."


	4. Daedric

_ This troll was completely bonkers. _

First, he started flipping out about how he didn't want to be followed and how his cave was private. Then there was a whole five minutes about how his "lusus" didn't want any visitors and how pissed she'd be if she ever came back to see a whole new troll in the cave. He then got quiet for a minute thinking about his guardian and where she was. According to his story, it wasn't like her to just leave the cave and leave him behind when they walked. She was very doting, apparently.

"So why don't you just go out there looking for her?"

"She's probably out there looking for me, if I went out there it would get confusing. If I stay in one place, she'll come. Maybe." He looked down at the ground again, fighting back tears.

"Do you want me to stay here until she comes back?"

"No, go back to your hive. She wouldn't want to see you here."

"Why not?"

"I'm not supposed to see other trolls. She says they're dangerous."

"But I'm not dangerous!"

"How am I supposed to know that? You're psychic, you might be able to read my thoughts!"

"I don't think I can, Signless!" He tried to quiet down. "Look, you're the first troll I've ever met, I'm not going to do anything bad to you."

"My lusus is still going to be angry if she sees you here."

"Then when we hear her coming, I'll hide and then leave." He sat down next to the Signless. Surprisingly, there wasn't any argument on the subject after that. There was a long silence before one of them spoke up again.

"Did your lusus teach you how to write?"

"You saw my lusus, he's a complete idiot. I don't even remember how I managed to learn any words at all."

"Well, you do have a little of a lisp there."

The Ψiioniic opened his mouth and pointed to his abundance of teeth. "I have too many teeth for my mouth. That's why."

"Still, I would think that if you could speak, you could write."

"Why do you care if I can write or not?"

"If my lusus does come back at some point, I can't tell her I met you. But if you knew how to write, we could still talk to each other in letters or something."

"We don't have anything better to do right now, why don't you just teach me now?"

They started with writing simple things, like their names and common objects. Whenever there was a word with a new letter, they would write it down five or six times. There was always a little trouble writing the Ψiioniic's name, but after a few hours he got it down. They discovered how much of a fast learner the Ψiioniic was, partially because that's how he was and partially because they both knew that the Signless's lusus could come at any moment and shorten the lesson. But even after four hours, she wasn't there. The Signless kept leaving his spot and looking outside the cave, afraid she wasn't going to come back.

The Ψiioniic didn't know the whole written language by memory, but he could look at a letter and recognize it, even to the point of recognizing new words just by using a piece of paper with the alphabet on it. Soon, it would be second nature to him.

About midnight, the two of them started wandering around outside the cave looking for food. This was regular business for the both of them, but they still had some strange habits during the whole endeavor. The Ψiioniic got distracted very easily by stray birds and prey they couldn't possibly take down. The Signless was hesitant to actually kill anything, and only did it out of necessity. Both of them were more comfortable and found it easier to find plants, because they were stationary and easy to identify.

Halfway through their foraging, the Ψiioniic heard footsteps from far away. They were quiet, but there was no doubt that they belonged to something bigger than both the small trolls combined. They were getting louder and louder, and soon they came to the attention of the Signless as well. He looked over at the Ψiioniic and told him to hide behind a boulder, an order that was quickly fulfilled. The Signless spoke up, "Who's there?"

An older troll voice answered, "Signless? Signless, is that you?"

His face immediately lit up as an adult troll came around the corner and ran straight to him. She held the kid in her arms and kept telling him how worried she was and how she tried to find him all morning and all night- damn, he was right. She was pretty doting. But it must be nice for him, to have a lusus that really cared, even if she was just a troll. That seemed pretty abstract, actually.

The Ψiioniic took a spare piece of paper and started writing.

_For future reference, I'm going to put all of my letters under here so she doesn't see it._

_I guess I'm just a little confused as to why your lusus is an adult troll? Is that something normal, or am I missing something? It just seems strange, that's all. Do me a favor and write me back, put your answer where I put mine and I'll come pick it up tomorrow. _

_Ψiioniic_

The writing was sloppy and strange, but it did the trick. He waved to the Signless and caught his attention for a moment, showing him that the letter was right under this rock. He nodded and turned his attention back to his lusus before she became suspicious. Not taking any risky chances, the Ψiioniic quietly wandered away from the cave and made his way back to his hive.


	5. Caught

_ It was one of those nights._

His head throbbed. His hands shook. He couldn't think straight. There were too many damn voices in his head. His lusus wasn't helping either, the bastard was just sitting there downing more honey.

Usually, he just sat there until he got better, but he needed to deliver his next letter. This letter exchange had gone on for perigees, maybe even a few lunar cycles. The Ψiioniic learned a lot from these letters, not just about his friend but also about Alternia. He dragged himself over to the table and picked up a few.

_No, my lusus isn't normal, yours is. It's kind of a private subject, I'm sorry._

_I heard that the culling drones were making their rounds soon, maybe you should hide your eyes when they come? If they see things that aren't normal, they'll kill you on the spot!_

_Sometimes I wish that I could let you meet my lusus, she's really nice! But she doesn't want me talking to anybody, she thinks they'll turn me into the drones or something._

That last one always confused you, but he would never explain why he said it. He always dodged this question and brought something else up, but maybe at some point he would pipe up and say something about it. But you still had to write your response to his most recent letter. Maybe writing some of this down would make you feel better.

_To answer your question, no. Even if I have to do everything myself because of my shitty lusus, there are still a lot of things that I can't do. I mean, I'm still wearing my first wriggler shirt, obviously I'm still pretty incompetent. _

_Even more so tonight, I guess. My thinkpan hurts again, it's one of those nights. I can't even concentrate enough to write much more, I'm just going to drop it off and take a walk. That usually helps._

_Ψiioniic_

He folded up the letter and headed out the door. As he walked, he had to stop every once in a while to calm himself down. This time was distressingly hard; there was even some weird static coming off him when the voices got too loud. With all his frequent stops, it took him a whole hour to reach the cave.

Neither the Signless nor his lusus was there. Perfect, he thought. With all this weird bullshit static everywhere, it would surely blow his cover. But as he lifted the rock to slip his note under it, he noticed there was already something there. Weird, the Signless didn't ever send two letters in a row. Curious, the Ψiioniic took the letter and folded it open, cringing as he read it.

_She's on to us._

Before he could even process what he was trying to imply, a sharp pain developed in the back of his head. But it wasn't inside his think pan like his current pains, it was different. There was a screech behind him, and a scolding voice came right after it. The Ψiioniic fell to the ground and stayed there.

* * *

It was impossible to have a good dream during these kinds of nights, especially when he neglected to crawl in a recoopracoon. The voices were even louder and clearer, which lead to individual voices being recognized and understood. Most of them were begging for mercy, or cursing the Empress. Another large majority of them were apologies to friends or loved ones, apologies to unkept promises. The most upsetting voice belonged to another psychic, he decided. It was a lament on all his decisions on trusting anybody; there were just too many people that wanted to take advantage of their kind, he said. This was enough to wake up the Ψiioniic in a cold sweat.

* * *

He found himself on the floor of the cave, eavesdropping in another conversation.

"…But he's not dangerous!"

"I don't care, you were keeping a secret from me. Is that really the thanks I get for taking care of you for this long?"

"Maybe I wouldn't have kept him a secret from you if you would let me have friends!"

"If you had let me meet this young boy, then I would have let you talk to him if he didn't seem dangerous to me."

"Everybody seems dangerous to you!" He huffed and looked over at the Ψiioniic, whose eyes were wide open now. He sat up and touched the back of his head, confused.

"Can the two of you shut up for a minute and tell me what happened?"

The tall troll looked down at him. "I saw an intruder in our cave and acted like I do for everybody that comes in here. Then, I learned that you were the one sending letters to my little troll."

"Is that a bad thing? I'm not hurting anybody."

"Both of you lied to me." She turned to the Signless, "Maybe some time down the road I'll allow you to talk to other trolls, perhaps even this one, but you're really not ready yet. I'll escort your friend back to his hive, just stay here until I get back."

The Signless tried to speak up again, but was cut off by the older troll's shushing. She walked over to the Ψiioniic and hoisted him into the air, then flung him over her shoulder. Before anybody could stop her, she stormed out of the cave with the little mustard blood on her back.


	6. The Dolorosa

"Let me GO!"

"Not with that attitude, sir."

Even if the Ψiioniic was kicking and screaming the whole time, the lusus wouldn't let him go. She didn't even mind his fits of static and rage, she carried on like it was usual business.

"Do you even know where my hive is?"

"No, but I wanted to be alone with you so we could speak without the Signless there." She took him off her shoulder and set him down on her lap to keep him from running. "From your letters I've read your name is Ψiioniic, correct?"

"More or less," he grumbled.

"Call me the Dolorosa. I am the caretaker of the Signless."

"Why don't you want him to have a friend so badly?"

"It's exactly the opposite of that, dear. I'm glad he finally found somebody his age to talk to."

"Then why did you-"

"He's always been sort of a rebellious little one. If I allowed him to be your friend without question, I'm afraid he would grow tired of it rather soon. That's not your fault, it's just how he is. If I told him he could, he would feel like he had to be your friend. If I say no, he will want to be your friend."

"Still, how am I going to talk to him if you said no?"

"You snuck around with him for a long time, just do it again. He'll follow your actions, trust me." She took the Ψiioniic off her lap and started walking alongside him. "Now, where is your hive?"

He pointed off into the distance. "Thirty minutes that way."

"Do you mind if I walk with you? I read just a few of your letters to him, but I still want to know what you are like."

"You read the letters?"

"He left them out in the open carelessly. I hope this is a lesson to him in secrecy." The Ψiioniic gave her a dirty look. "Oh please, I didn't read anything that was too personal, relax."

"Still, you shouldn't have read them."

"And you shouldn't have hidden from me."

_Well, she got me there._

"Your penmanship is horrible, Ψiioniic."

"I didn't know how to write until recently, I learned from the Signless."

"Why didn't your lusus teach you?"

"I wasn't schoolfed by him at all, he just sits there and eats honey."

The two of them got pretty well acquainted during the walk to his hive, almost to the point where the Ψiioniic was going to miss her until he saw her and the Signless again. As they approached his hive, she looked in the distance and smiled.

"About a mile that way, there is a small neighborcluster. Did you know that?"

"No! I thought this was in the middle of nowhere."

"I'll tell you what, child. Convince the Signless to sneak out and explore the neighborcluster with you, and I will help you along with your schoolfeeding."

This seemed like a good deal to him, so he agreed. He quickly drafted a letter and handed it to her so she could plant it later, while the Signless didn't see her. The Dolorosa left, leaving the Ψiioniic alone.

* * *

A few nights later, the Signless showed up at the Ψiioniic's door.

"Are you crazy? Why would you invite me over like this if my lusus already yelled at me for thirty minutes about it?"

"You still came, didn't you?"

The Signless stayed silent.

"Come on, it'll be fun! There's probably a lot of other trolls there, too."

"I thought I already said I didn't want to talk to trolls!"

"Shut up, if you can talk to me, you can talk to these other assholes." The Ψiioniic started in the direction of the cluster, so the Signless reluctantly followed. "I wonder what other trolls are like. You know, ones that weren't raised in the middle of nowhere or in caves."

"They're probably dangerous."

"Would you shut up about that? It's going to be fine!"

"My lusus is going to kill me…"

When they got to the neighborcluster both of them stopped in their tracks, terrified. The hives here were twice the size of the Ψiioniic's; Even if there were only three hives, they were terribly intimidating hives. The biggest one of the three of them was tall and castle-like, with a bridge connecting it to the medium sized hive. On the stairs of the smallest yet still massive hive sat three young trolls in varying ages. The oldest troll seemed to be picking on the youngest, who poked back. Soon, this escalated in a fight, which the third troll watched, uninterested. The Signless pulled his hood over his head shyly, hoping they wouldn't notice him. However, the Ψiioniic stepped forward.


End file.
